Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Word to the Wise

The wait continues here at the home office. Watoosa is now ten days past due, which is well beyond fashionably late.

Meanwhile, in preparation for my role during the delivery and first few days of childrearin', here is a list of words, phrases, and sentences which I am pretty sure I should avoid using.

"great with child"

"fruit of my loins"

"Walk it off."

"Let me finish this nonogram first."

"What's a contraction?"

"football"

"whiner"

"women's work"

"Are you cooking tonight?"

"Dibs on the bathroom!"

"I'm pretty sure he's crying for his momma."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot:

"baby mama"

and

"I'm too tired to give you a massage."

Greg said...

Ten days past due! When are they going to induce? An early congrats to you two.

TP said...

How about adding "here comes the milk truck," and "mmmm, yum, save some placenta for me." Or "just rub some dirt on it." (editorial note, tim is solely responsible for that last one, which he claims is said on ball fields in indiana.) Good luck!

The Keffer's said...

When beth is laboring, they will have her hooked up to mo itors - one of which measures contractions. Whatever you do, avoid commenting that a given contraction doesn't appear to have been that intense.