What It's Like at the APA

This week, the latest issue of Proceedings and Addresses of the American Philosophical Association arrived in my office mailbox. The current issue includes a reprint of a 9-year old boy's report about attending the annual Eastern APA meeting. Here's what he wrote:

"2 days after Christmas I went to a philosophy confrence [sic]. It was horrible. There were 200 philosophers. They all did weird things. They couldn't make jokes, many had beards.

In the elevator it was worse. Once a philosopher got off on the wrong floor, so said, "wait for me." "We'll take you to the 27th," said another. Nobody laughed. "Get it there are only 10 floors," said some random old guy in a country accent. You get the point it was creepy.

A few days later there was a fire. Only one person was hurt, but everyone did weird things. Like people were standing in the roads, so nonphilosophers had to lead them out. Some people went back into the hotel. Firefighters had to lead them away. Still one guy stayed and had his bags blocking the door. Firefighters told him to move his bags, so he did, but when they left he put them back. I'll never go to a philosophy confrence [sic] again."

I got a good laugh out this, until I realized that a 9-year old has more publications in the Proceedings than I do.