Walking back from class, I realized that one of my worst nightmares had come true—I noticed my barn door was wide open. I used to be pretty paranoid about it, and I always made sure to check right before walking in to class. But I’ve grown complacent in my heretofore 100% success rate, and now I’ve paid the price.
Frack.
I’m wearing my corduroys, which I have long suspected have an occasional tendency to unzip themselves, but I may have just forgotten to zip up after going to the bathroom. Oh, for a button fly!
It wouldn’t be so bad if I had gone to one of my upper-level courses, since I sit down for those (I run them as seminars). But this was Intro, which has over 30 students, and in a vain attempt to keep their video-game addled brains from drifting into a state of slack-jawed semi-consciousness, I move around and gesticulate quite a bit. Which means I’m right up front for all to see.
Worse, I stand with my hands in my pockets, which affects the surface tension of the fabric over the naughty area. A minute ago I used the bathroom mirror to see what exactly the effect was. Just as I feared, that posture changed the negligible and narrow slit of darkness into a wide-open aperture of embarassment. There might as well have been a giant flashing arrow pointing right at my crotch. It’s a good thing I wore underwear today most of the students were sitting in the back of the classroom.
6 comments:
How absolutely wonderful, I mean horrible!
[I was tempted to pull a Tim P. and fake a comment from a student, but I have some respect for you. Not much, perhpas, but some.]
Oh. My. Gosh. ! That's so great and not great at the same time and in the same way.
I always check the barn door right before class, but I could see myself settling into complacency.
What sort of under panties were you wearing? I think I'd choose nondescript boxers over anything else (as if you had a choice there). (stained) whitey-tighties would be the worst. That, or Rainbow Bright boxers. Or the He-man undies I had as a wee lad. Or those pairs of underwear that don't...quite....stay.....shut.....
Did you talk about anything particularly salient to the situation today? Maybe how the philosopher cares not for worldly matters? The world beyond the appearances? Perhaps about the Divided line.
Well, Cac--can I call you Cac again?--thanks for the great story. I haven't laughed so hard from something online for a long time.
I'm sure Karmic return will have me poo my pants during class for ribbing so much.
Tim
Actually, we were discussing Hobbes' Leviathan, which you will recall is a giant serpent that lurks in the murky depths, and frightens everyone who beholds it as it emerges from its lair. Appropriate, no?
That is funny! As for appropriate, thankfully, I'm not in a position to know.
Tim
I want nothing to do with the Leviathan discussion. But the fact that you violated Leibniz's law is quite a feet--that should go on your CV.
This is yet another reason I'm lucky to wear a long [enough to cover up a potentially unzipped fly] white coat when I see pts.
I sit on a rolling stool directly facing my pts. I've already noted myself having seen pts with my fly down all morning.
My nurses apparently aren't comfortable with me enough to tell me when I look absurd. Perhaps, it's that I always look absurd, and having my fly down isn't a big enough change in that absurd level to merit a comment.
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