Pre-natal Thoughts

Last night, Watoosa and I had our sixth and final birthing class. I haven't really blogged about the pregnancy, so here are a few random thoughts about the class and the upcoming event.

-The class has been very low-key. From what I had seen in movies and TV, I expected graphic videos that would make me squirm, and lots of time spent on the floor, pantomiming labor. There was really none of that. Mostly, we just talked about what would happen during the various stages, and how to breathe.

-I was surprised at how old all the other couples were. I'd guess that many other women, if not a majority, are older than Watoosa. Since we're in our thirties, I expected us to be the old fogies.

-One of the women in the class is a professional model, and she still looks like one (albeit one for a pregnancy magazine). Her name is Jennifer, and she and her husband were the last to arrive on the first night. When she walked in, Watoosa told me that she could detect the self-esteem of all the other women taking a nose-dive. That may be, but Jennifer can't rock the sexy librarian look like Watoosa.

-One of the husbands in the class looks remarkably like Vladimir Putin. Keep your distance, comrade!

-We've gotten the impression that a lot of the other women have been more irritable than Watoosa, who has been pretty chipper through the whole process. We've been lucky on that score.

-We did watch one video that showed several births. At first, I could only see half the screen because someone's head was blocking my line of sight. At first I just put up with it, but then I began to worry that I was missing something important on that obscured side. What if there was a special technique that the doctor was using, or that the husband was doing? I'd never know! I guess I'll find out in August.

-When they showed the baby coming out, I was shocked to see just how pointy the head was. I had heard that vaginally born babies have coneheads, but this kid looked like TV's Bert.

-Watching that video made me so very, very glad that none of us remembers our own birth. Sheesh!

-On Sunday, we toured the birthing center where we'll go for delivery. They've got free WiFi throughout the house. Watch for my liveblogging. ("Hold that contraction, honey--I'm almost done with this post!")

-The baby kicks and pushes. A lot. It's pretty freaky to feel it, and even freakier to see it. Watoosa says it doesn't really hurt as much as feel uncomfortable and weird. But since it has interfered with her sleep, I've decided to ground the kid as soon as he comes out. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

-Last night, as she crawled into bed, Watoosa huffed, "Ugh! It's just a festival of discomfort." She makes me laugh.

-I can't shake the suspicion that I really have no idea what's about to happen to us. Maybe it's because people keep telling us that we have no idea what's about to happen to us.