Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Actual Student Writing

"Philosophers plunge into the bowels of what truth really means in order for society to have a firmer grasp of it."

For the love of Zod, I wish I'd never read that sentence.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chris,

Thanks. Now I wish I'd never read that sentence. Here are a few great lines I got in my last batch of papers, along with one answer to a quiz where I asked, "what is the ring of Gyges". I hope you find them as funny as I do.

Student quotations:

For example, say someone poses the question, "How does a toilet work?" I do not know the answer as I am not a toilet expert, but I may then be interested in gaining this knowledge.

"Virtues contribute to people's actions in today's society, it something that we all want to have in our possession. Is it something that is part of our sole, our mind, and our bodies. I've found that in reality, virtue is a significant attribute in achieving happiness."

Basically, I have unquestionably proven that neither argument is valid.

If over a hundred years a human devotes his or her life to turning on and of a light switch, then begins to fiddle with the inner workings of the connections and parts of the lamp, that that human can learn, and not only gain the experience of the lamp workings, but in time gain the craft and science of the lamp.

The Ring of Gyges is a cylindrical object with a small height, and it encircles things. It also gives my WOW character a +3 attack and automatic healing.

Tim

hayumbone said...

Basically, I have unquestionably proven that neither argument is valid.

"There's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence...."

The Ring of Gyges is a cylindrical object with a small height, and it encircles things. It also gives my WOW character a +3 attack and automatic healing.

LOL. Think maybe your student was hoping for points for humor? :)

Between the endless supply of student logic and Chris's sentence, well, not the English language's finest hour.

Anonymous said...

Hambone,
I think meant to say student "logic."

Ickenham said...

Tim,
I kept a list of my best (i.e., worst) sentences at SLU. I'll send them if you want them. But this one is still my all-time favorite:

"The judicial system of today has carved its niches into a tree of stupidity, in which our system flourishes from."

Here's the runner-up:

“The term ‘slippery slope’ was mentioned at the start of her argument and the finger was pointed at the supporters of pro-life, but Thomson must understand that sometimes when you point the finger there is a thumb pointing back at you.”

Anonymous said...

Chris,

please do send those to me. I'm keeping a list as well. I'm grading papers right now, so I hope to get a few more gems sometime today.

I LOVE your second one (though the first is great as well) Here's an experiment. Try to point your index finger at your computer screen and your thumb at yourself.

Ickenham said...

The charitable interpretation is to assume she's double-jointed.

Anonymous said...

When I think about teaching as involving plunging into any kind of bowel to firmly grasp something, it makes me want to become a lumberjack.

Dignan said...

Why stop at mention of fingers pointing back at you? Why not continue with the "I am rubber, you are glue" bit?

blakbuzzrd said...

I don't think you can so easily dismiss the idea of the philosopher as a practitioner of conceptual haruspication.

That, or the philospher as plumber, waist-deep in the sewer of human experience, struggling against frothy torrents of raw truth.

Ickenham said...

Haruspication? Did you look that up in "Obscure Words for the Pretentious English Major?"

But actually, if there's one thing I've learned from my discipline, it's how to dismiss all sorts of things easily.