It's been made clear to me that my web moniker "CAC" just isn't cutting it. I've always signed off on emails with my initials--it's just faster than writing out my name, and the milliseconds I save can then be used for weightier pursuits. I always figured people would pronounce it mentally as three letters: "C. A. C." But apparently some folks are reading it as a monosyllabic word, and that's where problems arise. Kevin says it sounds like he's hacking up a chicken bone. Tim thinks it sounds like a Bostonian-accented synonym for a gentleman's naughty part. Neither of these things are what I want people to think of when they think of me.
I don't want to insert periods after each letter, because that defeats the whole time-saving point. I also don't like the simpler "CC" because a.) I'm afraid people will think it means "carbon-copied" and b.) I'm afraid people will think of C.C. Deville, guitarist of the glam-metal band Poison. Poison embodied everything that was wrong with 80's metal. Worse, DeVille named his next band "The C.C. DeVille Experience." Since DeVille, in addition to playing in the leading crap-metal band of his day, couldn't play his way out of a wet paper bag, his use of the immortal Jimi Hendrix's group name is utter sacrilege.
All I can come up with so far is:
1. Dr. Philgood (a pun on Dr. Feelgood, but that's a bit of a stretch)
2. Baron von Funkmeister (too long)
3. PA (an abbreviation for Pompous Ass, a name my B'ham friends affectionately(?) called me from time to time; but it sounds too much like the countryfied synonym for "Dad.")
So I'm open to suggestions. It needs to be relatively short, but not necessarily as short as CAC. And it should probably avoid exposing me to ridicule and taunts by the other boys and girls on the cyber-playground.
I know I've asked for your help before, such as when I needed to come up with killer names for my arms, or a name for this blog. And yes--I didn't ever actually accept anyone's recommendation. But this time could be different! As an added incentive, I'm going to go ahead and announce the prize for the winner: I will personally mail you two CDs out of my collection. And they won't be cruddy ones I just want to get rid of anyway--no these will be albums you'd be glad that people know you own. Or at least they'll be guilty pleasures. Hey, what are you complaining about, it's a couple free discs, dangit! And you know it won't be anything by Poison.
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20 comments:
What about 'Cali'?
It's, like, short for "Callaway" and is a reminder of your state of residence. Everyone knows it's Cali.
Chris,
I'm glad you're foregoing the CAC.
Options for your moniker:
1) Chris (what's wrong with Chris? Not super cool enough for you?)
2)ccway or cway (you could even pronounce it 'sway')
3) ChACa or chaca
Mahavishnu Orchestra, here I come!
Phil, Cali does reference that classic LLCoolJ track from way back in the day, but it also sounds like a girl's name.
As for Tim's suggestion that I go with "Chris," not only is it as boring as a Henry James novel, I had also hoped to keep my full name off the site and various other sites where I comment. I guess that's not possible now, though, is it?
#2 is OK.
#3 sounds like Chaka Khan.
CAC,
who said YOUR name was Chris? But, in all seriousness, I am sorry for spilling the beans on your "full name". I wasn't aware you had changed your "full name", so I didn't know I was outing you to the world.
CAC - Upon further review, I decided that my suggestion was kind-of gay and should not even be considered. Sorry.
A note: every time I read your "CAC," I think of the venerable early 90s pop/rap powerhouse "C+C Music Factory" and their hit "I've Got the Power" plays in my head. :)
Aw, man! That's even worse!
Didn't you go by "Cal" at one of the seven or eight colleges you've matriculated at? (tried not to end that sentence with a preposition and failed...sorry)
Well, I never liked Cal.
You could kick it homey style and go with Huntsville.
Or perhaps a nod to your various maternal paramours: BettyMan, PamBoy, SandyMan...
How about the combo ode to your favorite sport and a worthy literary character? Huck.
Word, yo.
Nick
Further reasons Huck is a clear winner:
1. Meets the efficiency criterium - 20% shorter than the obviously unwieldy "Chris" (though admittedly 33% longer than the phlegmy "CAC")
2. Irony Bonus Points: Who's the last character, except maybe Beowulf, in all of literature you'd expect to wear a monocle?
Nick
What about 'Curly,' you know. In reference to those locks of yours.
I think the front-runner at this point is "Huck."
Phil is automatically disqualified for making the preceding comment.
Both of the last two nights, I've lied awake, laughing outloud to Tim's objection to 'CAC'.
I'm mightily amused.
Sensing my copies of Mahavishnu Orchestra in peril, and taking any opportunity to procrastinate in reading for my Oral on Thursday, I'll offer a few more attempts. My hope is that volume will overcome wit, because I think Nick has me beat there.
1. unconventional symbols - you get to keep your old moniker, but spice it up a bit. make it Xtreme. C^C, {@{, [/\[ ... This way, you get to keep your dirty old name, and no one knows how to say it out loud.
2. vocoprocul - combination of first principle part of voco - to call, with procul, away. You are saying to the world, "I call at a distance", which is precisely what we would expect an ambling antiquated relic of a bygone era to do. (I think it is a grammatical massacre, but you get the drift)
3. vocovia - same general idea as 2, but a bit shorter and a bit more pleasing to the ear.
what did you name your arms, anyway?
7|/\/\
Tim, I mean, 7|/\/\,
My "guns" are still named Crime and Punishment.
And I dig the enthusiasm, but man you're getting abstract!
Good luck on the Orals. It was the toughest thing I did in the program.
I though putting up with friends who think metaphysics is more important than political philosophy was the most difficult part of you going through the program (even if those same friends do have better task in college football teams)?
Veil of ignorance? Take some dispositional properties. Wham. The fight's over in the first round.
PS--Kick some oral ass Tim!
Yes, the circular wankery that is analytic metaphysics never ceases to entice the weak-minded.
I don't know what better "task" in football means, exactly. But watching the Big 10 is about as fun as watching grass grow, so I'm not surprised you view it as a chore.
And for the love of Mike, don't ever use the phrase "oral ass" on my blog again. I'm still creeped out by my student's sentence.
Bloodless abstraction...
That sounds like something I'd find in my Dungeons & Dragons Monsters Manual.
Chris - I really don't have a comment on this particular entry. You can be "cack", "See-Ayh-See" or whatever you want to be. I understand that it is a pain to explain the phonetics to everyone though.
Anyway, I wasn't sure how to do a general posting (I'm sure it's here somewhere but being ADD, I just clicked on the first "comments" I saw) but Beth forwarded me to your blog a while ago. My what a family of bloggers! I've often thought about creating my own blog but then it would be completely boring and not nearly as exciting as yours and Beth's.
That said, I wanted to know what your interest "the computational theory of mind" meant. Is it a theory on the moms who start counting while their children are acting up? My theory is, that will never work! It's now or nothin' baby.
Well, all the best on your blog and your educational endeavors.
I kicked oral ass.
Well, more accurately, I felt like I was being slowly suffocated. You are right, CAC, that was really hard. Stump and the rest assured me I did well, but I still felt like a bumbling idiot at a few points.
Anyway, I passed, and I guess that's all that matters.
Hey Jennifer,
Which Jennifer are you? The one who lives in MI, or the one who lives in Toronto?
If you want to know what the computational theory of mind is, read Stephen Pinker's "How the Mind Works."
Then come back and explain it to me.
1. C4C
2. C 'n Cpell (kid's toy ref, and irony built in)
3. Crasstopher
4. Callous Yoof
5. Double Vision (c and c, of course)
6. Son Cookie (indie-sounding, but actually short for "Son of Sexy Cookie Diva")
7. Insert bonus mama joke here
8. Muttley
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