We're officially at T minus 2 weeks, now, and counting. And counting and counting and counting. People have told us the days leading up to the delivery are tough emotionally, especially if the mother is overdue. We're not quite into that territory, yet, but we're pretty much ready for the little fella to arrive already. Watoosa says that for a while, she had small worries about the whole delivery process, but now she's looking forward to it, if only because it means the end of being pregnant. It was magical and wonderful for a while, and hers has been blissfully free of complications, but she'd like to be able to actually lay on her back for more than a few seconds.
Yesterday, she came down with an acute case of boredomitis. It was too hot to go outside, and she didn't want to do anything in particular, but she also didn't want to be bored, so she lay on the floor and demanded to be entertained immediately. I suggested that it might be fun for her to sit quietly and watch me finish my nonogram puzzle, but that seemed to just enrage her. I figured it would be good to practice not-disturbing-Daddy-when-he's-working, but she seemed to have different feelings on the matter. Oh well.
Everybody asks her when she's due, now. And I mean everybody, from a stranger on the other side of a busy street to the girl working the register at taco joint last night. Watoosa says that people respond differently, but fall neatly into categories. Old men sort of chuckle, knowingly. Older ladies want to know all the details, and then want to share all their stories of childbearing and childrearing. Younger men and boys seem a little freaked out, as if she might "pop" at any moment.
The nursery is ready, the car seat is installed, the doctors lined up...nothing is left to do except wrestle with the following questions:
1. Will the baby have more hair than me?
2. Will he develop a New England accent, so that he sounds like Good Will Hunting or Cliff Claven from Cheers? We sure hope not.
3. When facing the inevitable envy and resentment from his peers at his superior good looks and staggering intellect, will he be able to handle it with grace and humility, like his daddy does?
4. Will his mother succeed in her fell attempts at preventing an appropriate fervor for college football?
5. Will I be able to persuade Watoosa that my weak stomach should preclude me from diaper duties and vomit clean-up?
Keep watching this space for the answer to all these questions--and more!
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8 comments:
Actually, it's the young women (non-moms) who seem nervous I'll pop, as well as hypnotized by my belly. The younger men look at me with fear as though I am some obscene object lesson. Everyone else eventually broaches the topic and asks me when I'm due except young guys, who want to pretend I'm not really there.
And doing stupid nonogram puzzles does not qualify as "working."
Good Lord, she's so bored she's reading your blog. That can't be good.
Let me take a crack at answering those questions for you.
1. Yes, probably. But then it will fall out and you two can commiserate. And then it will grow back (his, not yours) and you can return to envying him.
2. Before long, he and Uncle Jay will be dining on lobstah rolls and cheering for our beloved Sawx. It will be a wicked good time.
3. I'm sure he'll enjoy his own rich fantasy life, but his delusions will probably differ from yours, so it's too early to tell on this one.
4. Don't worry, Uncle Jay will help with the brainwashing here, too. Will you settle for a Fighting Irish or Nittany Lions fan, or is it Tigers or bust?
5. Hahahahahahahahaha
:-)
1. God, I hope so.
2. Not if you always speak in a fake British accent.
3. Not if he always turns bright red and sweats when he eats something hot, also like his daddy.
4. If you teach him to be a Buckeye fan, you can always rub it in his face when they loose to an SEC lame (aka, non-tree) mascot team in the BCS.
5. What, babies vomit?
1. baby has more hair than either of us will ever see on the upper part of our heads.
2. One can only hope......
3. ditto
4. She will fail miseably, as he will end up being a starting defensive lineman for A-U-B-U-R-N.
5. No way in the hell........ As she will most likely do most of the feeding [unless you can lactate - NO I don't want to know if can], you will do everything short of knocking her down in order to clean up vomit and change diapers when you are nearby.
I don't want to be knocked down. I've already fallen down the stairs one too many times.
#4, if she is successful, would be considered child deprivation.
Nonograms online: Nonograms
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